Secrets
by xDumbly-dor
Summary: It all starts with the little brown book.


Hermione ran quickly towards the doors of the Muggle train. It's doors were closing, and she was expected at the Ministry in twenty minutes. Out of breath and panting as she arrived at the door and dived on, she didn't notice who she was standing next too.

'Granger?' came a voice she recognized from her left. Turning her head slightly, she knew in an instant whom it was. His once greasy silvery blond hair was cropped shorter, with not a grease line in sight; his figure was large and pumped up with muscle, and he wore a blue suit and a briefcase in one hand.

It was indeed Draco Malfoy. Now clearly in his late twenties. Hermione felt great anguish wash over her as she stood beside the boy of whom she had hated with all of her might for six years. This boy had tried to make her school life miserable, and on many occasions, succeeded.

'Yes?' she said quietly, furious but trying not to let it show. She turned away from him and tried to stand steady as the train shook from side to side.

'A Ministry worker now, I hear. I have to admit, I expected better from you.' Malfoy expressed.

Hermione noticed a Muggle woman look up at the mention of the Ministry, and catching Hermione's eyes, looked back down at her Muggle newspaper.

'Yes. I'm working in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement,' she assured, 'Infact, I don't have to tell you anything, Malfoy.'

She turned to look at him again to find him smirking. Surely he knew now that this agitated her beyond excuse.

'Very good, Granger. I see I am at fault. And how, may I ask, is the weasel?' he asked, that small smirk still on his abnormally pale and bony face.

'We're not-' she stopped mid-sentence and turned scarlet-faced to look at the floor of the train. She heard Malfoy grunt, and closed her eyes, trying not to get too worked up.

'I'm sorry to hear that,' he mumbled, barely able to keep himself from laughing at her pain.

'No your not,' she snapped, jerking her head up so violently that it stung for a moment.

The train came to a slow halt, and Hermione continued to glare at Malfoy with a vengeance.

'Nice seeing you again, Granger.' said Malfoy as he sorted his shirt again and tightened his tie. Seemingly he was getting off at this stop also. Hermione sighed and waited anxiously at the door, desperate to dive off the train she had been so worried about missing.

The doors opened a few moments later and Hermione jumped onto the platform and walked away as quickly as she could. Yet Malfoy continued to follow her behind, keeping the pace. Now she regretted wearing her new stiletto-heel boots. Her feet ached, and she walked past the red phone-box that she knew was the visitors entrance to the Ministry. She contemplated on whether she should go in from there, than risk Malfoy stalking her further or her feet being murdered by her shoes.

'Granger,' called Malfoy from a short distance behind her. She turned round to face him, pushing her hair out of her face.

'What do you want, Malfoy?' she asked grudgingly.

'I think it would be good if we met up some time. I have something that I think you should read. You'll enjoy it,' he said. 'Here's my card.'

He handed her a small card that was white with a small picture of him in the centre, his name to the left and his address and phone number to the right. It also said 'Marital Status' on it, and expecting it to be a number 1 for married, she was shocked to see a 2; divorced.

'Your not with Astoria anymore?' she asked daringly.

'No, we decided it would be for the better,' he muttered, 'but do call. See you around, Granger.'

And with that, he had left. Hermione watched after him for a long moment before turning on her heel and heading towards the actual entrance to the Ministry. Once inside, she made her way up to the second floor in the lift. As she arrived on the second floor she ran into Harry Potter, who stopped and grabbed her in for a hug as he noticed her.

'Hermione! Where've you been?' he exclaimed, letting her go.

In actuality, she had spent time off work because of her divorce from Ron. This was her first day back at work, so she hadn't seen anybody for at least three weeks.

'Oh, err-' she stuttered, not sure how to word it. Was she to just say, "Ron and I are divorced"?

'I heard what happened,' said Harry, 'I'm sorry to hear it.'

'Thank-you, Harry.' she said, her eyes watery now, and she reached out for another hug.

'If your avoiding Ron, then I don't suggest going down to the Auror office any time today. He's dealing with this in his own way, which is moping around sadly and not talking to anyone.' said Harry, bidding Hermione good-bye and leaving in the lift.

Hermione went straight to her office and sat down. She took off her boots and put them under the chair before returning to her feet and massaging them. Hours passed by and she sat and wrote out a long essay on a family who had previously avoided arrest by the Muggle police and were now being tracked down by themselves, but she couldn't get Malfoy off her mind. He had said that he had a book. A book that she would enjoy reading, at that.

She finished her final paragraph and put her boots back on before checking the clock. It was ten past one, and he lunch finished at half two. Plenty time to get down to the Malfoy's and be back before her shift resumed. She packed up a few items that she thought she might need; A Probity Probe, a Sneakoscope and a Revealer.

She wasn't sure on using the fireplaces, so she found a good apparition spot and left, arriving outside the Malfoy Manor within minutes. She looked up at the huge house, remembering the one time that she had been there. She shivered at the thought but continued up the path.

'Name please.' came a crackly voice from the gate. This was new?

'Err, Hermione Granger.' she said. There was a short pause as she guessed the man was checking the name with Draco, but it then said, 'you may enter' and the gates opened.

She continued up the path and arrived soon at the door, where she was met by a tall and elegant looking Draco Malfoy.

'I knew you'd come,' he said quietly, turning and going back into the house. Hermione wasn't sure if she was to follow him or not, but she did anyway. The house was just as she remembered it; golden furniture, sumptuously decorated, a magnificent carpet.

She followed Malfoy into the room of which she had been tortured by his aunt, Bellatrix Lestrange. She shivered as she sat down on one of the seats there. It had been mended since last time. The chandelier that had fell was back up, and the room had a much more homely feel to it.

'So, this book?' she urged, realising that it was half past one already. Draco seemed to not listen as he observed the bookshelf. He pulled out a small brown book, which looked very aged.

'This, Granger, is a journal. It holds my secrets, my thoughts and most importantly, my feelings. I got this book in my first year at Hogwarts, and brought it home with me during the Easter of my seventh year. That was the last time I wrote in it.' he finished, admiring the cover.

'Why are you telling me this?' Hermione found herself asking.

'I want you to read it,' replied Malfoy. Hermione found herself accidentally gasping. She hadn't been ready for him to say that. Not at all.

'But it's private. I wouldn't let-'

'Granger. I need you to read this. It's not a want, it's a need. The years are all under one date. September first. Now take it.' he said, forcing the book into her hands.

She carefully opened it up to the first page and began reading Draco's scrawny writing;

_September 1__st__, 1991. _

_Slytherin, yes! I knew that's where I'd be placed. Following in my fathers footsteps to greatness. I overheard on the train that Harry Potter was in Hogwarts too, the same age, the same year. It was all true. I offered him a hand, a friendship with the right people. But he chose the Weasley kid with red hair and freckles. Both Potter and Weasley were put in Gryffindor, pah. _

_I can't believe Potter got onto the Quidditch team! Nobody in our year has, and he did! It's just so unfair. I can't believe it. I try to get him into trouble, but it doesn't work. I'm better than him! I am, I am, I am! _

_I saw Potter, Weasley and Granger today. They were out past curfew and I followed them, only landing myself in more trouble. They had a dragon, and it got taken away from that gigantic oaf of a beast, Hagrid. We all got detention, because apparently it was wrong of me to be up to! I caught them didn't I!_

_We had to go to the Forbidden Forest. Servant's work! I thought they were joking, but they weren't. At night time, too! I've already wrote father a letter, but haven't had the chance to send it. I had to be paired with Potter, while the others went with Hagrid in another direction. We went looking for a unicorn, and then this massive cloaked thing came out of nowhere and attacked -_

- Hermione looked up at him, her eyebrows raised.

'Harry was attacked, not you.' she pointed out.

'I was 11, Granger. You know how I was,' he reminded her. She nodded and returned back to reading -

_- and attacked us! I ran for it of course, but it got Potter. _

_September 1__st__, 1992. _

_I'm a seeker on the Slytherin Quidditch team! At last! And my father paid for the entire team to get Nimbus 2001's. Granger accused us of paying for me to be on the team as well! I was so annoyed by her comment. I called her a filthy little mud-blood and her snooty Weasley boyfriend tried to hex me! His wands broke, so it backfired and he was throwing up slugs! Ha ha ha ha! _

_We lost in the game against Gryffindor sadly. They say it was my fault, but I know it wasn't. _

_I went to Duelling Club today and had to duel Potter! He went off and started speaking to the snake I conjured in some weird language too. There are weird things happening. Someone (Potter) wrote on the wall in Mrs Norris' blood "The Chamber Of Secrets Has Been Opened. Enemies Of The Heir Beware" which Potter was accused of because he was found at the scene. Score! _

_The younger Weasley kid girl started at school this year and she was cursed by some dark lord called Tom Riddle. Or something like that. Potter had to fight off a massive snake apparently, wish I was there to see it! I was hoping it'd get him. _

_September 1__st__, 1993_

_Potter passed out on the train because of a dementor so I teased him about it back at school. He got really freaked out when I said there was one behind him! Haha. _

_I had Care Of Magical Creatures today and Hagrid brought some massive creature called a Hippogriff in. He called it Buckbeat or something stupid like that anyway. Harry was obviously the one to have to try and be nice to it and then he went off to ride it over the lake! _

_It was totally obvious that it wasn't a scary thing at all, so I went over and it attacked me! It tried to actually rip off my arm! I'm going to get that man fired!_

_Today I was telling Crabbe and Goyle about how pathetic Hagrid was and that mud-blood punched me! She actually punched me! I couldn't believe what I was seeing, hearing and actually __feeling-_

Hermione found herself chucking slightly, thinking back to that day, before she continued -

_- My father tried to get the creature executed, but it was gone when he got back out of Hagrid's hut. I think it was Potter who got it saved, but I don't care anymore. _

_September 1__st__, 1994._

_I saw Potter, Granger and the Weasley's at the Quidditch World Cup before school started. Granger kept looking over at me from the top where they were standing. I think she likes me-_

At this, Hermione found herself roaring with laughter. She looked up at Malfoy and wondered what had been going on inside his head when he thought that.

_- Potter ended up being allowed in the Triwizard Tournament too. It was for over 17's! He put his name in the Goblet and somehow he was chosen, and they said he wasn't allowed to back out. I put my bet on Cedric Diggory and gave out badges with "Potter Stinks" on them. _

_I was also going to try and hex Potter for saying stuff about my father, but then that Professor Moody came out and transfigured me into a FERRET! McGonagall stopped him and I was so embarrassed. Granger was there. She kept to the background mainly, but I saw her there. I can't believe I'm falling for a mud-blood. _

_The Yule Ball, part of the Triwizard Tournament, was great. I went with Pansy Parkinson, one of my closest friends. She likes me, but I couldn't stop staring over at Granger. She wore a long pink gown, with her hair tied back in neat curls. She was with Victor Krum. _

_September 1__st__, 1995. _

_I'm a prefect for Slytherin this year! So is Granger, so I guess I get to spend more time with her. It's hard to, considering she's not my friend and I have to abuse her whenever I do see her to make sure nobody finds out my secret. It's so painful. Pansy Parkinson is also a prefect with me for Slytherin, but only Granger and Ron from Gryffindor are. HAHA! Potter isn't! I so want to feel the kiss of Granger. So, so badly. _

_I wrote a song for Weasley when he tried out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. "Weasley Is Our King" is the name of it. The other two older Weasley's didn't like their family being insulted, and tried to fight me. But Umbridge, the new teacher at Hogwarts, banned them from the team and later expelled them! HAHA!_

_Umbridge made a club for us called the Inquisitorial Squad. I joined, obviously, for extra credit. And I found Potter making some club for practicing spells (they've been banned for practice by Umbridge), and I received fifty house points! We're sure to win now!_

_We captured some of the people that were with Potter in the Room Of Requirement and then Granger (god she just gets prettier and prettier, yes I still like her) told Umbridge that there was a weapon that Dumbledore had in the Forbidden Forest, and that stopped Potter being held under the Cruciatus Curse._

_When Potter, Granger and Umbridge left to go, we were left in the care of the other stupid bratts. Little Weasley girl hit me with a bat-bogey hex! _

_There was a huge fight in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry. Potter was there, with Granger, Weasley boy, Weasley girl, Longbottom and some girl called Luna Lovegood. She's really weird and stupid. And Sirius Black, the wizard who escaped from Azkaban, was killed by my aunt, Bellatrix. Potter also had to duel Voldemort, but Dumbledore stepped in and saved Potter. _

_My father was there. And now he's in prison. I swear I'm going to kill Potter. _

Hermione stopped reading at the end of the page and checked her clock. It was two o'clock already. He had loved her for years, and now she was scared to look at him. Did he still love her? Instead of looking at him, she began to read the following page.

_September 1__st__, 1996._

_I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I close my eyes to sleep at night and I flinch. I'm terrified. I've been assigned a mission. A mission so terrible it'll ruin me. I've been branded a mark, too. It's so painful. _

_On the train to Hogwarts, Potter was hiding on the trunk rack, listening in on my conversation. I found him, and I broke his nose. Which felt pretty good. _

_I'm going to fail the task. I simply don't know how It's possible. No, it's not even that. It must be impossible. I have been trying to get the two twin Vanishing Cabinets, one in Borgin and Burkes, and the one in Hogwarts, to work. _

_I'm feeling so sensitive. So scared. I'm going to fail, and I can't. My family's health and safety lie in my hands!_

_The cabinet just won't repair. I had to resort to a cursed necklace, but that was found and dealt with. I tried to send poison to him, to Dumbledore, of whom I was to kill. My own headmaster, to kill him, to KILL him. _

_I told Moaning Myrtle. There was no one else. I cried in front of her, in a hopeful bid that she would help me, somehow. Potter cursed me with some spell called SectumSempra. Snape found me and saved my life. Potter had tried to kill me. _

_I repaired the cabinets today. I can't sleep, and that is why I am up writing this. Three hours and I'm to kill Professor Dumbledore. If only I had someone's company. Someone to tell me It'll be alright. I'm forbidden to write to my mother, or my father, until this is over. Everyone is counting on me, and I don't know if I can do this.._

_I let the Death Eaters through, and I went up to the Astronomy Tower. Dumbledore was standing there. It was difficult. I couldn't stop shaking. He said to me, "Draco … years ago I know a boy, who made all the wrong choices … please, let me help you …" _

_He can't help me. They're going to kill me, I told him. I disarmed him. Snape came, and I couldn't bring myself to do it. I lowered my wand, and then, Snape killed him. I felt tears stinging my eyes as I watched my professor fall to his death from the window so high. _

_I can't believe he's dead. I don't deserve such a life. Not this kind of life, anyway. I deserve bad, but not this bad. Why me? Why me?_

_September 1__st__, 1997._

_Charity Burbage, the Muggle Studies teacher in Hogwarts, was killed before me today. Voldemort is using our house as a refuge point, where he kills people. I went to school, but came home during the Easter. Granger, Potter and Weasley were there. I hadn't seen Granger in so long. It felt like that anyway. The feelings all flooded back. She looked different. She had cuts, and bruises, and was bleeding in several areas on her face. I knew that it was them, and as much as I wanted to say it was Potter, I couldn't bring myself to see them hurt much more. Especially Granger. The plea in her eye as Bellatrix asked if it was them. _

_They tortured Granger under the Cruciatus Curse. It was horrific. I wanted to step in, to help her. It almost ripped my heart to shreds to see it, to hear her screaming. Then they stopped. I was told to go and fetch the goblin, and I did. _

_Then there was a huge fight. My wand was gone, and it was Harry who took it. My face was cut when the large chandelier fell on me, but I didn't care. Granger was safe. They apperated away. And that's all that mattered. _

_I next saw Granger in the Battle Of Hogwarts. In the Room Of Requirement, when Crabbe and Goyle decided that I didn't matter anymore, and that they wanted to kill Potter off. Crabbe was the most disobedient. I tried to stop him cursing at Granger, who was nearest to Potter. _

_Crabbe let off a Fiendfire. He couldn't control it, and soon it was trying to kill them all. Potter saved me. He grabbed me onto his broom and saved me. Crabbe, however, died. I can't believe he's dead as well. _

_I found my parents after the fight, and we sat together in the Great Hall. I was terrified, and Granger was nowhere to be seen. I couldn't shake her off of my mind. _

_I'm sitting at home now. It's been few months since the battle and Voldemort is gone. Death Eaters have fled. Our home is now quiet, but I'm still so scared. I haven't seen Granger for months, and I miss seeing her face. I need to -_

The page ended with a tear. Hermione flicked it over, but there was no sign of more writing. Instead, she closed the book. Her eyes were teary now, and she looked up at Draco, who had been standing watching her all along.

'I can't believe that this is how you felt for so many years,' she said quietly.

'And now you know, so you can laugh, if you want to.

'I'm not going to laugh, Malfoy. It's a serious matter. I just can't - it's just so odd. I didn't expect you to feel like that.'

Malfoy crossed his arms, 'you thought I had a steel heart and no feelings?'

'No, no, not that!' she exclaimed, standing up in front of him. She looked into his icy blue eyes and thought back to his fifth-year. "I want to kiss Granger so badly", he had wrote.

'Malfoy. I'm sorry,' she mumbled, moving forward and locking her lips with his.


End file.
